I tolerate curiosity

Wednesday, October 24

something nothing.

It's really over. Just when I thought that we'll be okay if we'll see each other again. But i guess i was wrong. Everything's changed. you were now different. It's like I don't even know you anymore. Maybe I really don't know you even from the start. Before, I felt it that there's something wrong. I didn't mind it until that happened. That day I decided to just move away from you. The day that I said to myself that I'll forget about you. that's what i really wanted. When I saw you, I thought it was alright. Everything's fine, that we'll forget about what happened. But it's different. You talked to me like I was a stranger. Like you didn't know me. I was hurt. I can't stand it. I wanted us to be alright, to make things back to normal, but I guess it will never happen again. it will never be the same as before. So let's forget about each other. I'll forget about you. I'll even forget what you've done. But I won't forget those memories that you made me feel happy or sad. I'll say goodbye even if I can't. When we see each other again. Please, move along like I wasn't there. I know I'm the only one that was hurt not you. Everything's fine on your side. Nothing's wrong right? So let's just leave each other's business alone. Okay? So goodbye. Whatever happens, just continue to move on and forget about me....

Thursday, October 18

So goodbye.

I can't take it, the pain I'm going through
especially when you didn't say I love you
you didn't even tell them or maybe you lied
you made me look stupid, I even cried

I thought it was real, it was true
but I was wrong, I never knew
you didn't even care, when I let go
and you didn't even said no

I hate you so much
still I'm longing for your touch
I can still remember, when you held my hand
I felt it, time still stand

And I won't forget it, I won't forget you
I won't, but I still have to
coz nothing will ever happen if I waited
it's just a dream I created

So i wanna say goodbye, to you and to us
even if there's nothing to discuss
I'm gonna move on, gonna move on
away from you 'til it's finally gone

So when we'll meet again, I'm okay
I'm ready to go my own way
so goodbye to you forever
it's now or never, whatever....

Sunday, October 7


Paalam, ito ang sinasabi natin sa mga taong paalis na, yumao na, at sa mga taong gusto na nating kalimutan. Pero maaari din nating ito gamitin sa panahon.

Namamaalam na tayo sa panahon noon. Sa mga pangyayaring maaaring nagpasaya, nagpatawa, nagpakaba, nagpaiyak, at kung anu pa sa atin. Ito ay pamamaalam sa mga alaala natin noon. Maaaring sasabihin mo ngayon na hindi mo ito makakalimutan pero sa pagtanda mo at sa paglipas ng panahon ay makakalimutan mo ito.

Kahit noon pa man, marami nang nagpaalam sa atin. At marami pang magpapaalam sa atin. Katulad ng sibilisasyon noon. Nagpaalam na sa atin sa pagpasok natin sa makabagong mundo. Hindi rin imposible na magpaalam na sa atin ang ating kalikasan, ang ating mundo. O kaya'y magpaalam na sa atin ang ating mga kaibigan o kapamilya.

Hindi natin ito maiiwasan. Dahil hindi tumitigil ang panaho. Patuloy itong umiikot at tumatakbo. Kaya dapat maging handa tayo kapag may magpapaalam man sa atin.

Mahirap magpaalam sa isang tao lalo na kung siya ay mahal na mahal mo. Pero wala tayong magagawa kundi tanggapin ang katotohanan na aalis na siya at iiwan ka na. Mawala man siya sa buhay mo, patuloy pa ding iikot ang mundo. Kaya mawalan kaman ng minamahal, tuloy pa din, hindi titigil ang mundo. At malay mo may makikilala kang mas mamahalin mo. Kung wala man, magpasalamat ka na lang at kahit minsan ay ipinadama sa iyo ng Diyos ang pagmamahal. At mawala man sa iyo ang lahat, nariyan pa din ang Diyos na handang tumlong at makidamay sa iyo. Kaya't huwag nang matakot at harapin mo ang mundo. Magpaalam ng nakatawa sa mga aalis. Magpaalam ka na at harapin mo ang kinabukasan.

Leave it to destiny

Once there was a kid, who really loves being a kid, who went to the playground near their house. She was playing alone in the sandbox with her toys then suddenly a little boy in their neighborhood went up to her and said, "Can I play with you?". She then accepted. They played together and had so much fun, not noticing what time is it. Then the girl's mother was looking for her and saw her there, playing with the little boy. The girl said, "Sorry, I have to go but can we play again tomorrow?". The boy said yes and the little girl left with a smile on her face together with her mother.

The next day the little girl went to the sandbox and waited for the boy she met. Then she was surprised when the boy arrived with so many toys. She was so amazed to see that much of toys.

"We can play with everything here.", the boy said.

"Is this all yours?", the little girl asked.


"But why did you bring it here?"

"So we can play together. I like you. You are just like me . You also like being a kid. Not like the others."

"Really? Then I will be a kid forever!"

They placed all day with all those toys the little boy brought until it was time to go home. Before she leaves, she asked him what's his name is. "I'm Martin. And you are?", answered the boy. "I'm Diana.", said the girl. Then they went on their seperate ways.

The next day, Diana waited again in the sandbox for Martin to come and play with her. She really liked Martin. She waited all day but Martin didn't come. She was so sad and cried all the way home. She asked her mom why didn't Martin came and play with her. Her mom explained to her that Martin was brought to the States by his father and will live there.

Diana was so sad. She ran up to her room and started crying and crying. Then she remembered what she and Martin talked about yesterday. "I will be a kid forever.", she said it with certainty. "So that when we meet again, he will know it's me." Then she went to sleep.

Few years later, she grew up, physically. Mentally,she was still like a kid. She was now in high school but then she still acts like a kid. Her teachers and friends think of her as a wierdo. They say that she's crazy. She still plays in the sandbox with other kids. She even brings toys for them to play with. Her mom doesn't believe it because she looks okay for her.

Then came a time when she was being bullied by her fellow classmates. They were saying that she was retarded and such. She went home and reported it to her mother. After that she stayed in her room. She looked at herself in the mirror and said, "Diana you are no longer a kid. You have to grow up!". "But what if Martin and I meet? How will he recognize me?", she replied. "You and Martin will never meet again! If you and Martin meet again, you can tell him it's you! So grow up!", she told herself. Then and there she decided to move on. She now accepts that they will no longer meet and that she had to let it go.

The next day, everybody in school was surprised when she arrived at school. She was different. She has changed. She has become a woman. She was very beautiful, everybody was astounded.

Then she became very popular, especially with the boys. Many fell for her. But she turned everyone of them down. She is still wating for Martin.

Few years later, she graduated, high school then college. She was now working in a big company as a supervisor. There she met her officemate, John. She wondered how and why, but she fell for him. She had forgotten about Martin. All she think about now was John.

Surprisingly, John told Diana that he likes her, her being independent, responsible, etc, her being a woman. Then they got along, very well. They started dating and such. And after a few years, they decided to get married.

The wedding day came. Many people were invited. It was a success. They had a great time. Then after everything that has happened, John told her something, "You know what, when I was a kid, I used to love playing with toys and the sandbox in the playground. I met a little girl, she was so amazing, she loves being a kid. We'd play with our toys all day. But then I had to go away, because my father wants to. And I never said goodbye. I was really sorry because I know that she waited for me in the sandbox. Yet, I didn't came. Last thing that I remember, she said that she wanted to become a kid forever because I liked her that way. That's the last time I saw her." The look on Diana's face was filled with wonder. She was about to say something when John interrupted her, "And her name was Diana.", he said. Diana was so shocked that she couldn't believe it at first.

"But his name was Martin.", she said.

"I'm Martin, before my father took me, then he changed my name to John", he replied.

"So you knew all along that it was me?"

"Kinda, but I didn't recognized you at first 'coz ur all grown up."

"Why didn't you told me this before?"

"Because I wasn't sure yet. Until I saw you in a playground before and realized that it was you. And I thought maybe you've forgotten about me."

"What made you think that?"

"Well, you've changed. I thought you've wanted to be a kid forever."

"I do but I wanted to move on, so I did but I didn't forget about you. I've waited for you. I love you."

"I love you too. That's why I"ve told you this."

Then they kissed each other and lived a happy life with their son (who also wants to play in the sandbox), Martin.

Dead or alive?

Bakit kaya ganon no? Minsan pakiramdam natin para na tayong patay, wala na tayong maramdaman o kaya naman manhid na tayo sa sakit na nararamdaman natin. Hindi ba para na tayong patay kapag ganon?

Minsan naman, sa sobrang sakit o hirap na nararanasan natin mas gugustuhin pa nating mamatay na lang kaysa sa maramdaman nating ang ganitong paghihirap na unti-unti na rin tayong pinapatay sa sakit.

Minsan naiisip ko nga na parang mas maswerte pa sa atin ang mga patay dahil wala na silang nararamdaman na paghihirap o anu pa. Wala na din silang kailangan problemahin pa sapagkat sila'y patay na. Parang mas magandang mamatay na lang no?

Pero huwag, huwag nating isipin na mas mabuti pang mamatay na lang kaysa maramdaman ang hirap dito sa ating mundo. Isipin na lang natin na isa lamang itong pagsubok na ginawa ng Diyos upang tayo ay mas mapalapit sa kanya. Dahil wala namang binibigay ang Diyos sa atin na hindi natin kaya. Lahat ng ating pagsubok ay malalagpasan din natin sa tulong niya. Kasi, isipin mo, kung wala kang problema, maiisip mo bang magdasal at magpasalamat sa Diyos kahit sa mga simpleng bagay lamang? Maaaring hindi. Kaya dapat tayo'y magpasalamat.

At dapat nating pahalagahan ang ating buhay dahil ito ay biyaya ng Diyos. Huwag natin itong sayangin dahil lamang sa pamomoblema sa ating problema. Idaan na lang natin ito sa saya at tuwa.


Maraming naguguluhan sa kanilang buhay ngayon. Lalo pa't makabago na ang ating pamumuhay. Marami ang nawawala sa landas dahil lamang sa mababaw na dahilan. Minsan nama'y nakakagawa ng kasalanan dahil sa kalitohan o kaguluhan sa pag-iisip.

Bakit nga ba naguguluhan ang mga tao? Bakit ginawa tayo ng Diyos na may ganitong katangian? Di ba kung gawa tayo sa imahe ng Diyos, dapat hindi tayo naguguluhan? Bakit naguguluhan din ba ang Diyos?

Siguro nga hindi ang Diyos ang may kasalanan kung bakit tayo nahihirapan at naguguluhan sa ating buhay. Marahil ay tayo ang gumagawa ng sarili nating hirap at kaguluhan. Tayo ang lumilito sa ating buhay kayo tayo rin ang nahihirapan. Dahil maaaring wala sana tayong kaguluhan kung iintindihin natin ang bawat pangyayari sa ating buhay at magtitiwala tayo sa ating Diyos.

Sa ating kalituhan, wag sana tayong maging mainitin at wag kaagad tayong magagalit kung may hindi tayo naiintindihan. Dapat nating tandaan na tayo ang gumawa ng dahilan kaya tayo din ang nahihirapan at naguguluhan.

Ako man ay naguguluhan na sa aking buhay. Ngunit imbis na idaan ko ito sa galit at paghihinagpis, ito ay ipinagdarasal ko na lang sa Diyos na tulungan niya ako sa oras ng aking pangangailangan.

wala sa lugar

Out-of-place in short OP, that's what's called to a person when he/she does not not belong, rejected or unnoticed.

For example, when you and your friends are chatting around but it's like you are not really with them. It's like you're not there, and they don't even noticed it. And they don't even know what's going on your mind, that you feel so alone. You're alone while they are having fun and yet they didn't even noticed it, or they don't care. That is what you call out of place.

There are many people that's like that. They know it, they're alone, sometimes they just live with it and accept that they are unnoticed. It's one of the reasons why there are so many people who seperate themselves among the others to live alone rather that feel the rejection that they experienced when they are with their so called friends.

Do you know any people that's OP? Maybe it's time for you to notice them because that's what he/she is waiting for you to do, if you're really his/her true friend.


Time flies so fast, isn't it? I have always noticed that. When I was a high school freshmen I said, "Wow high school na ko!". Then, when I graduated I said, "Grabe graduate na ko. Parang kelan lang first year pa lang ako." Then now I say, "Wow ilang taon na din pala ang nakalipas. Tapos ngayon college na ko." Well, I know that in the future I would say that again, because time flies.

Last year I realized I was such a dead kid before, that I missed so many things during my "childhood" life. I thought I was okay then, but after I realized it, I am now having regrets in missing things. I missed so many happenings in other people's life. I have become self-centered. What did I do before? Why did I missed so many things? That are my questions.

Because of that, now I cherish every moment that I have with my family and friends. I plan bonding moments with them. So that whenever I look back, I am there. I was there when it happened. And I don't want to be a dead kid again.

So whenever or whatever I do, I will really remember and cherish everything. :)

Thursday, October 4


Unnoticed, yun ang salitang kumuha ng atensyon ko at gumising sa akin noong nagsimba ako noong Linggo. Ewan ko ba kung bakit, pero tinamaan talaga ako ng salitang iyon. Dahil ba madami akong hindi napapansin sa aking paligid o dahil ako ang hindi pinapansin ng aking paligid?

Sabi ng pari, masama daw ang kumakalimot sa kapwa. Eh bakit parang hindi namin alam iyon. Marami parin sa atin ang patuloy na kumakalimot sa ating kapwa, sa ating lipunan, sa ating kalikasan, sa ating bansa at sa ating mundo. Siguro hindi nila naiisip na masamang kumalimot.

Ako rin ay nakakalimot sa maraming bagay. Nakakalimutan kong magpasalamat sa Diyos, sa aking magulang at sa aking kapwa. Nakakalimutan ko ring humingi ng tawad sa kanila. Kaya siguro nagiging ganito ako. Ang daming nangyayari na hindi ko na maiintindihan.

Yung iba kaya, ano kaya ang mga nakakalimutan nila? May epekto ba sa kanila ang pagkakalimot nila sa iba?

Tuesday, October 2

A Major Experience

You know what, at first, I really didn't want to study in UST, I really want to study in DLSU. And it's because of this course why I became a Thomasian, because I chose this course rather than my ECM-BMG (Major in Economics Minor in Business Management) course in DLSU. Ever since I was a child, I've always wanted to take that course so that I could be like my father. But I don't know why I my mind changed it's direction. As far as I could remember, it was during the NCAE that I wanted the Communication Arts course. And luckily, it was my course in UST. So I chose to be where I am now.

Well, this is what I chose to be. This is who I am now, a communication arts student. And of course, our major subject is CA 201.

My CA 201 experience during my first year in college was very astounding. Our subject is much more profound than in high school. And of course, we are now in college and we are now more advanced. For example, all our lessons were discussed and explained to us with the use of slide-shows and some films were we can learn better. And our notes are also available in e-LeAP where we can just download them in our own computer. Another was that we take some of our quizzes and home works are in e-LeAP, and this blog is an example for that.

Our first lessons were the history of mass communication. It was all read and memorize. We need to remember all the inventors, important details and such. And I thought it was a bit difficult. I thought it'll be like that until the end. Then after our preliminary exams, I was surprised that we are going to make a group report regarding the tools of mass communication. I was in the radio group.

At first all I thought that it was going to be fun and exciting.We're going to interview different radio stations, their DJs and such. Then came the hard part. We need a permit and we need to schedule an appointment etc. And so I thought it was easy. After all that stuff, it's time for us to report. I was so disheartened when our report didn't worked. I cried so much even at home because I knew that I let my group-mates down. And it's a loss that I am willing to accept.

Another project, a class project, was to make our own magazine. From the articles to the publishing, it will all be made by us. Before I wondered how are we going to make our own magazine? I thought it was impossible, but then I stand corrected. We were able to make our own magazine and it's really great. It's called MUG (Media + Us + Generation). I can't believe that we made our very own magazine, with our very own articles, models, and ideas. It's really amazing.

This subject and this course is very excellent because we are taught how or what we can be or will be in our future. And now I really like it. I have no regrets in who I am now. And in the future, I will reminisce all about this and be proud of it.