middle child syndrome.

This topic was opened while we were making our project for lit, that was a week ago. But until now, I don't know why, it's still bugging me and I always felt that it's really true. I've become paranoid to what it really is.

Last Monday, after doing our project, me and my family went to the mall. And then we went shopping, actually, they went shopping. I was just following them around the whole time and by the time we were about to go home, I haven't bought anything. And I thought about it, the middle child syndrome. Is it really true? That there is really something like that? And I knew my answer. Yes, there is, for me. So when we were about to go home, I agrued that I haven't even bought anything yet. Then they got mad at me. Now I realized that it is true. That there is a lack of attention or something if you are a middle child. So I was so pissed off. I was so mad at them that I was thinking of going home alone, leaving them behind, or simply runaway. Maybe it was because of envy or jealousy, I know it is. Yet I didn't think that's true because it's not my fault that I was jealous. It's theirs because they didn't care much about me. It's as if I was invisible or I don't exist. Because of my madness, I cried and I don't want them to see me but they did. And then they noticed me. If I didn't cry, maybe they're just gonna ignore me like they always do. I imagined them without me, they are a perfect family.

Just the thought about this makes me mad inside. I want to have my revenge. Yet, I don't want to do it. So what I'm doing is just taking it all in, I'm just waiting, patiently, for the right time, until I'm so mad at them that I can shout my anger and let it all out. If they could just know how I really feel. This sadness I feel inside...

Forget it.

I'll forget about my dream
'coz I know it'll never happen
it is as crazy as it seem
my heart will just be broken

So I'll forget about it
I'll forget about you
I'll forget that we meet
I'll forget you said I love you

I know it will be painful
I know it'll be hard
but to God I'll be faithful
so I give you my best regards

Goodbye forever
goodbye completely
I might cry a river
to move on quickly

But I want you to know
you're the only one I love
and forever it'll grow
even if I'm up above...

I wish to live in my dream

Last night i had the best dream in my life. Good thing I still remembered it when I woke up. Here it is...

I wish to live in my dream
the dream that I was with you
and when you saw my cry,
you told me that you love me
just to make me smile.
yet I ignored you
still, you waited, patiently
and stayed with me
until the right time.

Then we're in a castle stairs
while going up together,
you hold me tight with love and care
then we saw the fields over there
I was amazed to feel the air
then again you said,
"I love you"
I was struck from foot to head
still I said I love you too.

I wish to live in my dream
the dream were you said I love you
it maybe as crazy as it seems
but I wish it'll come true...

Info Rev: The Advancement of Technology

It's really amazing how our technology became so advanced in just a few years or decades, how they started just from the curious minds of people. It's really fascinating.

I remember when I was just a kid, we used to write letters or postcards just to get in touch with our relatives in provinces or outside the country. Then, as I grew older, we started to use telephones then a pager, which was a very big hit before, and now cellphones. The oldest ones we have is the big cellphone and the Nokia 5110 then came the 3310.

It really amazes me that in just a few short years, cellphones have changed. It grew smaller and easier to use. Before, we only have black and white screens and monotonic ring tones and now we have colored phones and polyphonic and MP3s for our ring tones. And now it even has a camera, Bluetooth, wireless Internet etc.

Technology is also advanced in different ways besides the improvement of cellphones. It also helped in the progress mass media. Based on what I have learned, mass media before was not that developed. They spread their news orally, and without any written document for it. Then came the alphabet, then writing and now, the newspaper. These made news available to everybody. Still, they have invented the radio and the television. It was now available even inside our houses.

Thank God I didn't live during their time. Because I don't know if I can survive living like that. Haha. We're really lucky to have lived during the 21st century. So we should appreciate everything even those simple little things.