Random thoughts (in the morning) 06-07

Lately, I've been having this feeling in me that something is missing in my life, aside from sleep, that is. Not that I'm not grateful or anything, but, it's just doesn't make me feel happy. My head's all filled up with things that I've gotta do and the list is long. Balancing work and school is really tough but I'm okay with that. It's not what I'm ranting about. I guess I just miss the times where life seems to be fun and easy. Now, everything's all serious and nothing seems to make me contented nor make my mind at peace. There'll always be a part of me that's looking for something more.

I guess this is just me being lonely. Feeling that through all of this, I am alone and no one understands what I'm going through. Or maybe no one cares. Of all the things, I hate this the most. I hate that I am like this, that I am where I am because I chose this. But I know time will come where I'll be up in this depressing situation and be back to my usual self, which is kind of a problem too, by the way. Who am I, really? I've so many perception of what kind of person I really am but I don't know if I am all of those or it's just a perception of what I want, or who I'm trying to become. I thought I have found myself, or should I say, I've gotten a sense of a new part of me that I wanted to be, when I went away but what it only did to me was make me fat.

Right now, I am at a loss of what to do. Of who I should be. Things go against each other with what I want and who I have to be. Does it even makes sense? Can I even be in two worlds and live in between? Or choosing to be in both means I will never be contented and happy because I won't experience the best of both worlds? So I only have to choose one and just see the other world but not live it?

I just realized, writing this concretize the thoughts that's in my head for a while now. That's what I love about writing, it makes you think of what to write and you end up organizing your thoughts and understand yourself more in the process. But I still don't have an answer to my questions.

Xo,
L.

Featured!

I can't believe I got featured in a newspaper twice in just a week! It's so amazing and funny at the same time.  I don't know why I find it funny though. Now I know how celebrities feel when their in the paper. LOL.

Anyway, the first one was on Manila Bulletin last June 29, 2012. My work which I styled with my partner, Kerstie, during our Fashion Styling workshop with Eric Poliquit at Raffles Design Institute Manila got featured for a press release for the said school. It was one of the looks we did for our last shoot which was an editorial. Sadly, I didn't get credited for it. It's ironic though that one of the most important thing I learned during that workshop was to never forget to give credit to those who deserve it. Oh well, I guess it's part of the experience.

Next up, I got featured (Well, at least my back did. And now I know why I find it funny. HAHA) in Philippine Star last Friday, July 6, 2012 together and shaking hands with top fashion blogger and stylist, Ms. Tricia Gosingtian for SM Mall of Asia's End of Season Sale campaign. Meeting her was so awesome. She was so nice and friendly to me. She even featured our store in her blog. Do check it out! I still can't believe that my arms are in the photo. I wish they could have chosen a photo with my face being seen, at least. HAHA! It was such a nice experience all in all. :)

Although I wasn't acknowledged in both feature, I know truthfully that it was me and my work that's in it so it's all good. :)

Lesson learned

Sigh. I've been so down since last night because I lost my secondary cellphone and I don't know where I lost/misplaced it. I only noticed that it was missing when I was about to charge it in the office yesterday afternoon. I thought I forgot it at home, but when I called my mom to look for it, it wasn't in my room nor our house. I thought I dropped it in the car just like my dad was dropping his yesterday morning when he drove me to work. Then I remembered, our car was brought to the service center that morning to get its stereo fixed. And of course, a lot of mechanics and whoever it is is going in and out of our car. So if I did dropped it there, it's long gone.

I called my dad and told him that my phone is missing. He scolded me and asked me to check at the house. I was so sure that it was still with me when I left because, the other night, I took out and dropped everything that's inside my bag onto my bed because I was checking and counting my expenses. And I still remember, although it is very unclear, that my phone was there and it was dropped together with my other things.

I am so depressed right now. Even if it wasn't an expensive phone, it's really regrettable because of the contacts, messages and photos that's in it. I already called the network and asked to deactivate it and just get a replacement. But all those contacts and everything won't be retrieved. It's so frustrating.

Now I have to buy a new one and get it from my paycheck. Sigh. Sorry I had to write it down here.