I tolerate curiosity

Monday, May 19

Of being hurt and keeping anger

We've all felt hurt or disappointed at one point in our lives. And sometimes, that feeling introduces us to another emotion - anger. When you've been hurt by someone, sometimes it makes you think of how or why do they do things that hurt you. Be it intentionally or not, they will end up hurting you and don't you ever question how can they do it when they know it will hurt you? Or better yet, do they know you enough to know that you will feel hurt by that certain action? I know it's twisted, but I'm just saying that those shouldn't even cross their mind if they care about you, or they should think twice whether you will be hurt or not before doing something. Those questions  are what sparks the anger coming from the hurts and frustrations of one certain action by the ones we love. Because, you know that if it's the other way around, you wouldn't be doing that to them.

I don't even know what hurts more, the action that hurt you or the fact that they didn't even know or care enough that that action will hurt you. And it's freaking frustrating going round and round without finding an answer. It just makes you angry. And being filled with anger will just make it worse, but sometimes, it's better, sometimes it's okay to let them feel that anger and let them realize that they've hurt you, right?

It's hard to let go of anger and giving forgiveness, especially if you're the one who's hurt, if you were the one who has done nothing wrong. It makes you think like how can you forgive and let go when they didn't understand what you were feeling and might possibly hurt you again. It's so twisted that it's hard to get a grip on that it will make you the bad person when you confront them and wouldn't even get an apology. So what's there to forgive, right?

So rather than going against them nor succumbing to being the one that has to bow down, I'd rather be indifferent. I'd rather be cold and not care than to care and just be hurt. It's a less stress feeling.

Indifference is just something to coat a hurting heart and it's rare for people to notice when someone is being indifferent. Heck, you can keep feeling hurt forever and be indifferent and those around you who doesn't care enough to know who you really are wouldn't even notice. Sucks, right?

It's okay to feel hurt, or angry, or be indifferent, but you have to have a certain breaking point of when it can go. Do not push yourself farther away because you might never see the chance for you to change it. It's not good to dwell on things but we all have to go through it. Though it's not that easy, I know, but you'll get there.


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