when i see my prince

"I long for the day when I can finally see your face
To touch your hands, to hear your voice, to feel your kiss
The day when I will meet the one who fell from grace
The man who fell to catch my fall from the abyss"


Finally inspired again! Was able to make a poem after a gazillioooon years! Well, this just made me think about that one person whom God will give me. And I know I will meet him in God's own time. :)

20 Wishes For My 20th Year

Only a few days to go til my birthday and xmas, and I am hoping that someone loves me enough to give me at least one of the following that I listed that I wish to have. Thank you, Santa Claus! I've been a very good girl. HAHAHA.

1. To get my driver's license! So I can go out and drive alreadyyyy!! :)) 

2. I wish that my DSLR's LCD will be fixed. (or at least have some money to fix it.)
UPDATE: Aplhie's home and fixed!! YEY!! Tho that cost me my xmas gift from my parents. :| :))

3. 2011 Planner. Already got one! Thanks to Jen Muñoz! <3

4. An Ipod Touch (latest model) Never had a new one since the first Ipod Shuffle 512 MB. HAHAHA



5. New External Hard Drive 500 GB. My 250 GB is 90% full already. I need more space! :))

 

6. Sophie Kinsella's Shopaholic and Baby & her new book, Mini Shopaholic! I looove Becky Bloomwood!
UPDATE: A friend told me someone already bought the Shopaholic and Baby for me! YAY!! :D

 

7. Stephenie Meyer's Eclipse and Breaking Dawn from the Twilight Saga. Not that much of a fan, but I want to finish reading it.



8. Cute Earphones/Headphones. I broke mine a few days ago. Anything cute and matibay will do. Wag lang jeje headphones xD
UPDATE: OMG! Chammy really bought me Hello Kitty earphones! YEEEEY!

 

 9. Pink Flip Cover for my Blackberry Curve 8520. I want a new case. And I want something that protects the front as well. My screen protector's all scratched up already just after a few days since I put it on.


^ A plain one will do. :)

10. Lip balm. My lips' all chapped. I prefer Lipsmackers. :))

11. Goldilocks' Classic Polvoron. I just love love love love it! My current craving this season. :9 Got mine already thanks to my dad! :D

^That box! Nomnomnom.

12. Dunkin' Donuts' Nutty Chocolate! My lifetime favorite! :))
Dream come true!! A DOZEN DUNKIN NUTTY CHOCO! :))) Thank you, Nina, Frances, Jorlene, Jasmine and Myraaaa!! :* >:D<

13. Hello Panda Chocolate. Sorry, this is the last food that I will be listing. :P I just love sweets. :))

14. SHOES! Oxfords, Boots, Heels, Flats, Sandals name it! HAHA. I'm a size 5 1/2 or 6 btw. :>

15. Unique rings and necklaces! I am hunting for lots of it! Especially those that's really cute and different! No photo neessary. Nah, I'm just lazy. :))

 16. Dresses, Tops, Skirts, or anything from Forever 21! Or any outfit at all! As long as it's fashionable. :>
UPDATE: I already got to shop a lot of clothes so... but i'm still accepting! :))

17. BAGS!! Lots of it! :)) I prefer designer ones. HAHAHA.

18. DVDs of GG, 90210, Priveleged, Ugly Betty and many more series and movies!

19. An autograph of Ian Somehalder. Better yet, he would greet me on my birthday! or just tweet me. :">

20. MY FINAL WISH. To go to the 2011 World Youth Day in Madrid, Spain. I need $2,000.00!!! Help me!!

Well, that's it. 20 wishes for my 20th year. Hope i get one of it. :>

burnt

Right now, I our house smells burnt. Because someone forgot to get the cinnamon out of the oven and got it overcooked. Then i realized, our relationship is starting to burn us out. All the fighting, shouting, nagging, I'm so sick of it. I just wanna close the door, and be alone. even  if i still smell the burnt aroma. I just wanna sit here, waiting for it to go away, for us to be back to normal (whatever is normal for us). I just wish that whenever there is something you are going to be mad about, don't blame me.

ako lang

hindi ko ginustong mangyari yon, hindi kasi tayo pareho ng pananaw. hindi niyo din naman kasi alam ang nararamdaman ko. patas lang naman tayo. pareho tayong tao. nauna lang kayo sakin. ang respeto na sinasabi niyo ay hindi ko kaagad maibibigay sa inyo kahit matanda kayo sa kin. eh kung tratuhin niyo naman ako wala din respeto diba? intindihin niyo muna yon. sigurado, maiintindihan niyo na ko. oo alam ko masama akong tao. hypocrite. conceited. selfish. proud. angry. at kung ano ano pa. alam ko yon. pero kahit alam kong masama akong tao, kahit alam kong masama ang ginagawa ko at taliwas ito sa sinasabi ko, ewan ko. hindi rin naman kasi madaling magbago ang isang tao eh. lalo na kung pati ang kanyang paligid ay pinahihirapan siyang magbago. pilit siyang nakakagawa ng masama dahil dito. pilit siyang hindi naiintindihan ng tayo. pilit akong nasisira at nawawala sa mundo. ewan ko. sabi ko kayo lang at ako ang isusulat ko pero nalabas ko na pati galit ko sa mundo. marihap naman kasi talaga. hindi naman kasi ako tanggap. hindi nila ko tanggap dahil di nila ko naiintindihan. hindi nila alam kung ano ang pananaw ko. iba kasi ako. weird. iba kasi ako. emotional. iba kasi ako. dramatic. iba kasi ako. iyakin. iba kasi ako. basta iba ako. masyado kasi akong nagbibigay kahulugan kahit sa napakasimpleng bagay lang. kahit ano, sabihan mo ko,lokohin mo ko, asarin mo ko, iiyak na ang puso ko. ganun akong tao. hindi ko naman kasi maintindihan ang point kung bakit kelangan mong mangasar o manloko ng tao. hindi ko din alam kung bakit sila ay hindi naaapektuhan nito. pero masama din ako. nangaasar din ako kaya mukang parusa na sakin ang masaktan.
napakalabo lang ng isinusulat ko. hindi niyo to maiintindihan. ako lang.

Pwede bang may on-off button ang buhay?

Pwede bang may on-off button ang buhay? Sana kasi meron. Para alam mo yun, pag ayaw mo dun sa isang moment sa buhay mo, pwede mo munang i-off tapos pwede ka munang mawala dun sa part na yun? ang hirap i-explain. Basta when there's a point in you life that you wanted to disappear or to not exist for a while kasi hindi mo gusto yung nangyayari sa paligid mo, yung hindi  mo nakakasundo yung mga tao, yung wala kang maramdamang nagmamahal sayo. Pwede kaya i-off muna ang buhay tapos babalik nalang kapag wala na yung moment na yun? ang hirap lang kasi pagdaanan yung mga ganong panahon eh diba? pero siguro nga kelangan natin lampasan yung mga yun kahit masakit. siguro kasi kung wala namang sakit na mararamdaman ang mga tao edi ano pa ang matitirang motivation natin para mabuhay? maaga na siguro tayong namatay, masaya naman kasi parati eh. pag nagkaroon tayo ng hindi natin ninanais na maramdaman, gusto natin parating kalimutan ito at magmove on nalang or i fast forward lahat.kung pwede lang. yung pagnakipagbreak sayo ang boyfriend mo, i ffast forward mo nalang or iooff mo muna buhay mo tapos babalik ka nalang pag tapos na at wala na yung sakit, okay ka na ulit.

Ang hirap. Ganun naman talaga ang buhay. Minsan kelangan talaga nating matikman ang pait ng mundo para lang magsumikap pa tayo at makalampas rito. Kawawa nga lang yung mga taong hindi na kinakaya at tuluyan na nilang pinatay  ang on-off button ng kanilang buhay. Sayang naman. Hindi na nila muling mabubuksan ito. Pero parang okay  din yun, ipaputol ko nalang din kaya ang buhay ko, ng sa ganon, hindi ko na maramdaman yung sakit at poot na nararamdaman ko. joke lang. ayoko. kasi kahit ano pa man yun, alam ko namang mawawala din yun, sasaya uli ako. hindi ako papayag na ganun lang ang papatay sakin. hindi pwede. ambabaw.

Sana lang talaga may on-off button, hindi ko kelangang mamatay, gusto ko lang mawala dun sa mga sitwasyong hindi ko kayang maramdaman.

This is not what I have been waiting for

I remembered summer last year, when it was my sister's time to look for a job for her OJT. I would look in the internet some jobs that she could apply to. I was the eager one in finding her a job. And I was also excited for my OJT the summer next year - this year. AND I AM THE LEAST BIT HAPPY.

I was expecting that I would get a good job from a very well known company. And after applying for 30+ companies, in which only a few called me back, I no longer expect anything from it. I told myself any company is fine, as long as I will like what I will do, and have fun with the people I will be working with. Oh-but-no. God, has an even greater plan for me which I have not yet understood. I got a text message during holy Wednesday saying that I got accepted at Pulp Magazine, a kinda-well known magazine in the country. So yeah, after not hearing from those 30+ companies, I accepted the job. I was excited again.

I was told to start on the 12th. So from the time I received the message, there was more than a week left for me. A week enough for other companies to call me. And some did. But I turned them down. I thought, Pulp mag is better. I'm good with it. I was really excited working there and no longer cared for the other companies. UNTIL MY FIRST DAY.

I was supposed to come in for work last Monday when I realized that I have a clearance at school. So I asked permission and they told me to start on Tuesday instead. I was even jealous of my classmates because they were working already and I will just be starting. It made me even more excited. THEN I WAS WRONG.

When I arrived at the office for my first day, I saw Klaris, a fellow CA student from another section, and it was only two of us. Jasmine, my blockmate who is also working there, called in sick and the two other students didn't came. So yeah, there were only two of us. It was already past 11am, which was our working time, and we haven't even done anything! We were just sitting there, staring eye to eye, whispering to each other. And not even a single word from any of the employees! DAMN! Are we invisible or something!? Like, HELLO! We are interns! We applied here to do some work! And yet, lunch break came only when we asked if we could go to the bathroom. GAH. NO INITIATIVE WHATSOEVER.

So we had lunch. I hung out with Klaris' friends who were working at Tagline, an amazing events company. And yeah, I curse Pulp to the ends of the world! They were so happy talking about their jobs whilst we mourn over ours. Lunch break was over so we decided to go back after two hours since they wouldn't even notice us.

GAH. After coming back, we were yet again snubbed! We sat there again doing nothing. So we decided to go out again, and came back at around 5. Then they made us do some P.A. work. For me, those kind of work are okay, but, for us to waste time and only do some jobs right before we go home? WTH. Some kind of internship, huh.

Thus, I plan on resigning and will be looking for another job that is far better than Pulp. If you guys ever read this, fire me okay!? So that I wouldn't bother making a resignation letter. :))

nostalgia

I’ve been reminiscing the past 3 years of my life in college the whole day. and GOD, i miss everything!! i really miss going to school and just hanging out, or doing school stuff, except for papers and quizzes. lol. oops, let me rephrase that, I MISS EVERYONE. yes, everyone who has been part of my 3 years in college. i miss them. i never realized it until now, that I’ve got some awesome friends, classmates and ever profs. pretty soon, like a year from now, i can never go back that moments, i might never be with those awesome people ever again. having an internship this summer made me realize that the real world is coming up on us and life will be different. life would be much much more difficult. i guess it’s about time that we start cherishing every moment we’ve got left in college and forget all the bad things that may have happened. let’s just enjoy the remaining months we have together. well, we should study too. lol. still, i wish it’ll be the bestest year in my college life that I’ll have to remember everything forever.

sige dito muna

since my browser's really effin' crazy today, (they won't make me access tumblr nor plurk. BOO.) I once again opened my blogger. haha. there's prolly a connivance with my ISP. lol. oh well. shall do our lit hw which was supposed to be a groupwork yet there's only 2 of us in our group. argh.

Oh right, read about Ruffa left the Buzz crying this afternoon because of Kris' rude comment on her moving to TV5. gah. Boo, you. Ninoy will lose voters because of you. Oh well, I'm not voting for him anyway.

'kaythanksbye. ^^,