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I've told myself I'll start writing again, and I am. I've managed to write some words and made up lines that turned into a poem. And now, seeing that I don't have anyone else to talk to, I'm writing here. I don't write because I'm lonely, I write to remind myself that I could still do something even if I'm alone. I have this with me when things aren't going so well in real life. I have this where no judgement is passed on nor empathy, which I don't mind since I'm used to it. I write here because this is the only place where I can let myself express what I feel without having to worry about who reads it, who knows about what I'm going through and what they think of me. Yeah sure, I'd love it if people who know me knows what I'm going through, but I know it's best if they don't, unless of course they're willing to get to know me. Me who's writing here, not the version they see on my Instagram feed.

It's sad to how we judge people based on their lives in social media. Sure it brings people together, but only those who we want to connect to, and sometimes, there are those who needed it but doesn't say it out loud.

Xo,
L.

Random thoughts 09-20

I've longed for the day to finally meet the person I will be falling in love with and I know that he won't be coming anytime soon so long until everything in my life will fall into place and he will be the last rose petal to drop. I know I've got to find myself first, come clean with my baggages and get it together before he arrives. And I know it will be a really long wait. But I've got no choice than to deal with it. And like the child that I am, I tend to become impatient, insecure and afraid of the uncertainty of him really ever coming. Still, I am proud to say that I never did anything (bad, I mean) to distract myself while he's on his way. I am doing the best I could to be the best version of myself. But to no avail, I have yet to gain a step closer. Therefore, it goes to my conclusion that it'll take some time before he gets here. And I have yet to know what will happen when it does. And it scares me. 

Xo,

L.